How Can You Be So Heartless?

In 1974, just as David Niven was about to introduce Elizabeth Taylor at the Academy Awards, a naked man streaked across the stage. Niven responded humorously (and Britishly). Not since then has there been a more visible prick onstage at an Awards show than Kanye West was at this year’s VMAs.

If you didn’t know, Taylor Swift won an award for best female video, beating Beyonce’s “Single Ladies” video (beloved my many, myself chief among them). During her acceptance speech, she was interrupted by Kanye West who then explained to the crowd that Beyonce made one of the best videos of all time. Roll tape:

Saying no more than that, Kanye is a really big asshole. But consider the details. Kanye wasn’t that particular award’s presenter. He got up out of his chair, walked onstage, took the mic out of the hands of the WINNER of the award, and then said something. It takes an even bigger asshole to do that. It takes an even bigger asshole still to take the mic away from the winner (after walking onstage during a speech for an award you did not present) and then tell the crowd that someone else deserved to win. It takes an even bigger asshole still to do so at the mother-fucking MTV Video Music Awards. On what planet, under the influence what kind of Government-grade, top secret hallucinogen must you be to believe so strongly in the everlasting importance of an MTV-designated award, not for the artistic or popular merit of any music, but of the video which dramatizes that music — and believe even more strongly that the winner of this year’s Best Female Video went to the wrong female (and, incidentally, which correct yet horribly unrecognized winner in this particular, specific category went on to win “Video of the Year” in what must have been an alarming and altogether mystifying turn of events) — that you take it upon yourself, Kanye, you piece of shit — who had no involvement with the (purported) should-be-winner’s video — to ruin the already fleeting, but nonetheless victorious moment of recognition from the actual winner –who, it turns out, did not appoint herself the winner, but was CHOSEN as the winner (by God knows who and not that it matters anyway)? In what state (of mind, of body, of soul) must you be in, to totally disregard all decency and basic human decorum, which a 1st grader can follow, in favor of your own pointless opinion about a ridiculous and

Got any raps with rhymes for "tactless"?

Got any Raps that Rhyme with "Tactless" ?

inconsequential award, that you absolutely must ignore the simple courtesy of letting someone say a (from what I saw) pleasant thank-you for an award they got through no fault of their own? Under no circumstances should this ever happen. But if happen it inevitably must, my humble feeling is that anyone sporting the hairdo (seen at the right) has always and forever waived the right to say word one on the matter.

There is talk of fining him. There is rumor of banning him from music-awards shows. This is well and this is good, but it misses the point. Kanye West, it would seem, needs a chaperone. Perhaps a schoolmarm who will rap his knuckles. Perhaps a parent who will spank his stupid ass when he acts up. This is the behavior of a child. This is the behavior of a pre-teen who thinks that his very existence insists that the world revolve around it and bend low to its every whim. He is a spoiled and stupid person; infantile in brain, inert in awareness of others around him. He cannot come out and play, because he does not know how to share. He cannot out-think the award-designators of MTV’s Video Music Awards (and what a sad fact this is). The way that it works young Kanye, and please take your finger out from your nostril and sit up straight, is that because Beyonce is getting the biggest award of the night, she needn’t win them all. It’s okay to let someone else be a winner, too, since the point may be less about winning and more about celebrating more than just one artist. (Hint: The names of the awards make this point for themselves). Your behavior is unacceptable. It is unthinkable and unconscionable. You have made a fool out of yourself. You are an ass, Kanye. Your behavior is reprehensible even to a Village Idiot. You are the Industry Idiot, and long will you reign. What a total fucking asshole you are. A fucking asshole, man.

(Beyonce, for her part, when accepting her award, made a brief speech and then had Taylor Swift come onstage to share in the moment. And let’s be real, when Beyonce has you out-classed, things are in sorry shape, indeed.)

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1 Response to “How Can You Be So Heartless?”


  1. 1 Tim Eaken September 22, 2009 at 12:51 am

    I couldn’t possibly agree with you more. While probably intentional, one main point in all of this is (unfortunate but true) race. Yep, that’s right. Kanye is the prime example of modern day racism. He calls attention to anything in which a black person participates in and does not win. Someone needs to strap his ass down and explain the way the world works today. He is a waste of time, space, energy, thought, and breath. Until he catches up to speed on the whole, 99% of the world doesn’t give a sh*t if you’re black, white, brown, yellow, green (well maybe not green)…but if you are good at what you do, the world applaudes!

    Kanye keeps doing this to himself. I’ll bet every black person in the country, nah, let’s up it a bit, the world that saw his little stunt at the 2009 MTV VMAs had a first thought that went something along the lines of: “Someone needs to take him backstage and kick him ass.”

    As for me personally, I think a judge should make him attend the CMT CMAs next year and make him face the humiliation of being a complete outcast (no pun intended, not that there even is one). Should he be banned from all future music award shows? Perhaps! Not until the entire industry and, furthermore, the nation and world as a whole stand up and stop supporting Kanye, will he get it through his thick head that he is a complete piece of sh*t!

    Moving forward, I am completely surprised that in this day and age there were no security measures for something like this. I would think that every award show would have security sitting in the front row. Perhaps there were and they were paralized at not knowing what to do if the offender is a celebrity? Favoritism is just asking for the next terrorist to be a celebrity first so that they can receive special treatment when it comes to security measures.

    Alright, aight, aight, aight, aight–I am not one of those people who walk down the streets scared of a plane crashing on my head, nor do I fly on a plane and suspect every middle-eastern person I see. I am just making a simple point that might make a little sense.

    Kanye West needs to be sent to the middle East, put on the camo and look to the North until his ungreatful black ass is headed South!


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