Archive for May, 2009

Looking UP


Tuesday's Business Meeting

Tuesday’s Business Meeting

Pixar’s eternal brilliance is already so widely accepted by now that there’s no point in rehashing it again. But I just have to rehash it again. World, you may keep your “Ice Age” sequels, your “Horton Hears a Who” lacklusters, your “Shrek 2,3…?” and “Madagascar” and the okay ones like “Over the Hedge” and “Monsters vs. Aliens.” These will not remain. These will not be remembered, and if they are they will surely not be regarded as anything other than a means of marking time. Leave me Pixar and leave me be.

 

The creators at Pixar understand this life. Names like Andrew Stanton, John Lasseter, Brad Bird (my personal favorite) and the writer/director of “UP,” Pete Doctor – all of these men are expert storytellers, but they all retain a sense of wonder that so many children have and so few adults can even recall. They remember (and love) what it felt like to think about the possibilities of life, they return to that place over and over and are blessed enough to call it their job. With the hours they put in and the care they demand, it is a miracle that Pixar continues to hold onto that sensibility picture after picture. Their films understand that the soul needs that childlike sense in order to grow, that we aren’t meant to move on from that wonder, we’re supposed to add to it; that without holding onto some part of the kid in us, we stagnate. We get old but not wise, we live but aren’t alive. Their movies make me feel that awe again, every time I sit down and watch them. They fill my heart, and they uncover feelings that I haven’t felt for a while or forgot existed. 

 

So it was with “UP,” a film I assumed I would enjoy, but how much I wasn’t sure. Would it be like “The Incredibles” or last year’s “Wall*E” ? Few can be. Would it be a solid effort like “Monsters, Inc.” ? I couldn’t tell. And they are very crafty, those folks who promoted this movie. In a time when movie trailers tend to give away every remotely interesting thing in the movie, the previews for “UP” seem to deliberately withhold the most crucial, powerful elements. They were right to do so. Trailers are seen so many times that it would have reduced the film’s power and impact to see too much too soon. Instead, they gave us the bare bones plot. Old man, young kid, a house that floats because of a ton of balloons. 

 

This movie gave me so much. With a main character over 60, you wouldn’t expect the word “Adventure” to be the primary description, but it is. The movie has great adventure set-pieces, like chases through forests and cliff sides and the sky. It has a perfect blend of physical and verbal comedy. The movie plays mostly fair and doesn’t allow its characters to be superheroes (even when they’re being superheroes) and the supporting cast of animals adds a very nice dimension to the world while also bringing in the families. 


Gasp
Gasp


But what I really want to talk about are a few things. First, the aerial shots of the house floating over vast expanses. These shots took my breath away. They are so pristine as to move one to tears. The sense of peace, of freedom, of life and this planet, this beautiful glorious planet of ours. Yet for all of these, my favorite moment of the film is its first act, which hovers over the rest of it and is embodied by the house itself. There are a few scenes with Carl as a child, meeting his wife Ellie, who is a darling, half-tomboy. The scenes where she talks about having adventures and he sits transfixed, having found that person who makes it all click. There is an entire sequence showing their lives together, from marriage to old age, and here is where Pixar shows its brilliance. It is reminiscent of a familial montage in another Pixar film, “The Incredibles,” but it is even more complete in some ways. Most films burn through backstory like this in a quick montage that hits some highlights, delivers the exposition and moves on. Inevitably, they lack an emotional core, because they feel purely functional. Perfunctory. Not this one. Wordless, though ever filled with life, it shows us two complete characters and their life together. It is an extended, patient sequence. It refuses to go through the motions. It observes it characters with tenderness and care, and I fell in love with it. It skewered my heart and I was terribly, completely taken away by it. 

 

How do they do this, Pixar and their films? How do they make us smile while we cry? How do they inspire both awe and affection at once? These are films that will remain, because they are films made by people who love these stories too much to see them marred by easy pop culture references and who respect their audience too much to deceive them with a cheap product for a fast dollar. Pixar could take it easy. Their record is so impressive, they could churn out 3 or 4 movies, and they’d make money just because of the name. But I don’t think that will happen though. I think the product is good because the investment is personal and true and good. “UP” is the latest film from the one of the best companies around, and it is so good as to revive the heart and soul.

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List of Things

NOTE: If your eyes venture to the right, you will see that I am now on Twitter. It’s true.


Thing 1 – The website for “Trailer: The Movie” is up and running (go here!!! Whoops, no HERE), and the site is daily being improved by the lovely and talented Allie Yeary. Check out the posters for the movies within the movie and 4 production diaries (more on their way). There’s even a script sample on the site (I take no responsibility for any spelling/grammar errors, b/c Adam wrote the script as well.)

 

Thing 2 – Speaking of the movie, Adam and I are 1) editing ourselves sick this weekend. It’s the first time we’ve edited on Adobe Premiere, and before anyone asks why we aren’t using another (potentially better) program, you must ask Adam who declares that Adobe is great. Nonetheless, it can be tricky learning a new and intensely complex program while trying to keep a grasp on how you are going to utilize it for your own specific needs. We’ll see in a month or so how it went.

 

Thing 3 – Last thing about the movie. Our hospital fell through, so if anyone has any hospitals they know of who are willing to let people film there, please let us know. It’s getting down to the wire, and we’re getting nervous. We’ve been looking since (no kidding) March and had our confirmed hospital bail on us recently. Buncha jerks.

 

Thing 4 – Spring and Summer Music!!! If you haven’t picked up the new Decemberists’ album, “The Hazards of Love,” (written about in a previous blog) do yourself a favor and get it. Also, recently bought new albums by Green Day (21st Century Breakdown) and Eminem (Relapse). Green days’ is exactly the CD you want for a mid-80’s summer day. It’s 70 minutes of great music, not quite as brilliant as “American Idiot,” but pretty damn close, and just as fun (my favorites are the title track; “Horseshoes and Handgrenades” and “21 Guns”) Eminem… what to say? The CD shouldn’t be called “Relapse,” but “New Rock Bottom” because it’s pretty dreadful. he spends 3/4 of the album rapping about how he can rap about anything that when he finally starts rapping about something, you don’t really care. Also, not for the squeamish. On par with the more graphic sections of prose from “American Psycho.” (That said, the song “Deja Vu” is totally brilliant. Download it and save your money.)

 

Great summer meal 

Great summer meal

Thing 5 – Fajitas!!! Nothing says summer like having friends over for fajitas, which is what Adam and I did tonight. Fast food gets expensive so instead, we made chicken and fish, peppers, onions, beans, rice, the whole nine yards, and it was fan-damn-tastic! Add some beers and the TV show “Spaced,” and you’ve got yourself one hell of a night.

 

Also, no matter what Adam tells you, we’re just friends.

 

Thing 6 – Running. Running about 4 times a week now, usually for 45 minutes or so, added some weights to the front end of the running, and boy am I feeling great! My mind is clearer, I feel healthier, more alive. I know a lot of people shy away from it because it seems like work and sweat and ick, but I am telling you, so for a 10 minute jog, take the iPod, turn up some Green Day or your favorite weekly podcast. When you get back, you will feel revived. You may be worn out, and that’s a good thing, but notice how much clearer your mind is. 

 

 

That's what we call "Mad Ups" 

That’s what we call “Mad Ups”

Thing 7 – NBA Playoffs. Conference Finals time and I am sick of seeing every advertisement aching for a Lebron vs Kobe Finals matchup. I find it entirely disrespectful to the other teams who’ve worked just as hard to get here and who (both series’ being tied at 1-1) could easily win, creating an equally compelling finals of Orlando and Denver. All four games have been intense and great watching so far. And of course, there’s always baseball. Oh, baseball, why are you so watchable? Don’t you know I have other things to do? Oh well, I’ll get back to them after the bottom of the inning (No I won’t).

NOTE: Orlando leads the Eastern Conference Finals 2-1

 

Thing 8 – It seems that everyone I know is either getting married, or married and having kids. I understand wanting to settle down, but dammit, who am I supposed to hang out with? If you all wouldn’t mind terribly, STOP. Marriage is acceptable, but “Having Kids” has officially been ejected from the game (I’m looking at you Royce, you smug baby-making machine). If you wish, I will pretend to be your child for a month or so, after which I guarantee you will wait at least 10 years before conceiving. That is all I have to say on the matter. Enough is enough, really. Wait for me to catch up a little for goodness’ sake. That said, I’m looking forward to next weekend, when Nathan Potter ties the knot. Should be a great time.

 

Thing 9 – Just remembered: American Idol. I totally watched it. Adam Lambert was off the hook, maybe the best singer I’ve ever seen on there. I’m glad he didn’t win (as I noted in my twitter post. Aw dag!) because a) we know he’s going to get a record deal, b) this way he’ll have more creative control (hopefully) and c) now he doesn’t have to sing that POS After School Special song Kara DioGuardi co-wrote for the winner’s album. Come on! That said, will I watch next year? Doubtful (Totally).

 

Thing 10 – Summer Movies – Wolverine sucked. It’s the worst comic book movie to date, and that includes “Daredevil,” “The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen,” and the underrated “Spiderman 3.” (Note: I’ve seen only about 5 minutes of “Catwoman,” and it gives Wolverine a run for its money. Too close to call) “Star Trek,” on the other hand, is amazing. Great story, characters, effects. A great summer movie in every way. And directly in between the two falls “Terminator: Salvation.” Some bad dialogue aside, this movie is better than its most recent predecessor and fits well in the Terminator canon. The Terminators themselves are horrifyingly difficult to kill, and I hate to say it but McG directed this movie really well. Really good action movie. With so many titles coming out, every weekend is overwhelming. I’ll see most of them but the ones I’m REALLY looking forward to are: Pixar’s UP, the new HARRY POTTER…, Judd Apatow’s FUNNY PEOPLE, and Quentin Tarantino’s INGLORIOUS BASTERDS

 

Thing 11 – As for books and reading and the like, I am going to be spending much of the summer with The Life and Opinions of Tristram Shandy, Gentleman by Lawrence Stern. I’m also making my way through the comicbook series Preacher by Garth Ennis. Graphic, but enjoyable. Happy Summer everyone!

Funny Things

This weekend, I was on a midnight walkabout with some friends when one showed me a video from a show called “The Whitest Kids you Know,” one of those comedy sketch shows. I’d seen a few by them before but this one, called “Leg Peeing” (that’s right) was the funniest by far. The sketches are shot incredibly simply, but they’re totally hysterical. There’s a lot of sketch comedy shows these days. Pretty much everyone agrees that MadTV is an abomination. SNL is on the way back up, thanks in large part to their digital short films, even though they’re only occasionally funny otherwise. I know a lot of people like David Wain’s stuff, I find it uninspired. It’s a good time for comedy in general (too many recent great shows and movies to list them) and for sketch comedy too, and what I like about “The Whitest Kids You Know” is that it combines really strong scenarios with great dialogue (you know, that thing that’s missing from David Wain’s writing 80% of the time). Since I’m me, I had to look up the creators/stars of the show. Their website reinforces the well-established paradigm for comedic success: play with your friends. Trevor Moore (tall dude in all 3 videos), Sam Brown and Zach Cregger started it in NYC, they do live shows, the TV show (Season 3 is upcoming) and they’ve made a movie “Miss March” that looks only okay. Here’s a nice bit from Trevor’s bio:

At 19, Trevor signed a deal with a production company to write and produce The Trevor Moore Show (a weekly sketch comedy program) for some PAX-TV affiliates. Writing late night comedy for a family channel ended up being pretty tricky and after 11 months the show was cancelled due to offensive content.

Here are 3 examples of their awesomeness. Enjoy: 

Cast Away

I’ve only seen this movie once in its entirety, about nine years ago when it was first released. There’s some debate about whether the end of the film is satisfying or not, and in Springfield, Missouri that night a voice from the row behind me piped up and in a disgruntled hick tone said, “What kind of ending is that?”

“A good one,” my friend Tyler replied, without looking behind him.

That moment has remained in my head as one of the most vivid moments ever in a  movie theater, and what’s weird is at the time I only thought the movie was good. Since then, I’ve talked about the movie often and recounted that story as an example of someone missing the point entirely. This happens.

Tonight, “Cast Away” was on FX channel back to back, and I caught a glimpse of it the first go around, then found myself at midnight not wanting to sleep and just in a particular mood. It was on and so I watched the last hour. 

It’s so much better than I remembered. What struck me most was Tom Hanks’ sense of isolation and the way his eyes so painfully display all that he’s lost. Hanks is an underrated comedian, and in the first part of the film (I’m going off of memory) he’s enjoyably humorous. Think of the moment when he first gets to the island. But he evolves into a man of such stillness, especially when he gets back to civilization. I had never noticed how specific and spare the cinematography is, hand-held and moving very slowly during scenes. The camera seems, in some ways, to replace the hum of the ocean that we’ve been hearing for an hour and a half. 

And then after he sees the Helen Hunt character, the woman he never stopped loving, he delivers a beautiful monologue to his friend about his loss. It is not big on emotion, and Hanks barely moves. There aren’t even that many lines, but he takes his time, and the camera slowly moves in a half moon around him, and somehow in his stillness he manages to communicate his characters profound loss and grief. Loss and grief and then hope. Listen what he says at the end:

“And I know what I have to do now. I gotta keep breathing. Because tomorrow the sun will rise. Who knows what the tide could bring? “

The film’s tagline in the trailer is a beautiful, difficult question: Where do you start when you have to start over? This brings us back to the end of the movie. A lot of people don’t like it. People like the hick-douche from nine years ago, and a lot of film people too. They say it’s too obvious. Of course the final shot is him at an intersection because his life is now at a crossroads, and they see it as too much. I disagree and for two reasons. The first is that the final moment plays out beautifully and subtly. There is a difference between clear, good storytelling and bombasticism. I think unfortunately some film buffs scoff at clearly told stories, because they aren’t obscure enough, aren’t convoluted enough, or aren’t deliberately, painstakingly vauge enough. There are things that are, and there is much to be said for a wonderfully crafted, straightforward narrative. 

Cast_Away_Ending_with_Tom_Hanks

The second reason I disagree is much more important to the film’s message. Hanks’ character is not at a crossroad at all. The weight he carries, he carries. He isn’t seeking something that will make it go away, he is ready for the next chapter in his life. The idea of a crossroad is that a character must choose between two clear things, one that is wrong and easy and one that is right and difficult. Usually the character is caught between the two choices. Hanks’ character is not. He is a clean slate. His options are endless. The final moment has him turning in a circle, with infinite roads to go down, surveying them all, and doing so, feeling not fear but peace at the endless waves of opportunity and possibility and hope. It is about finding yourself smiling in that moment of realization and then turning to face the future. What a glorious, perfect ending.

Are We Having Fun Yet?

And now let us marvel at the decisions of others. It’s not good to laugh at people. Only sometimes it’s fantastic to laugh at people, because some things are just stupid. Tonight I am happy to bring you a gleaming example. Please consider the following photograph:

This is truth so thick it doesn't wash off

This is truth so thick it don't wash off

This isn’t my car, by the way. I snapped this picture in Kansas City, MO after finishing my last claim for the day. It had been a long week, and here was a gift waiting for me at a stoplight. And while I was laughing myself silly, I grabbed my camera and thought, “If that’s not blog-worthy, nothing is.” When I put my camera away I noticed the driver was staring at me in his side mirror. I smiled. He looked away. He looked like he was in his late 20’s. 

There’s just so many things wrong with this photograph, and I have so many questions. For instance: is it really necessary to have both a Nickelback bumpersticker AND a personalized Nickelback license plate? The procurement of either of these materials is sufficient to cause hysterical confusion in all who look upon the horror. Why both? And which came first? Let’s assume that the license plate came first. What must have prompted him to obtain the bumpersticker? How long had he had only the plate when he decided that it was not enough? Was he afraid it was too esoteric? Perhaps one day he awoke at 2 in the afternoon and realized suddenly that the plate only reached out and offended those persons already acquainted with Nickelback, whereas his goal had been to advertise and recruit new fans out of those middle-aged, midwestern soccer moms who passed through his neighborhood, and, seeing his vehicle in the driveway of his parents’ suburban two-story, registered only confusion. Had some of the neighbors stopped his father from mowing the yard to ask what that curious collection of letters was intended to signify? This forcing his father, unaware himself of anything beyond the fact that his son had dropped out of college, moved back home unannounced and was as frustrating, as unemployed, as unbearable as ever, to call down to the basement seeking clarification for the neighbor who kindly waited out front, dog on leash. “Getting dark,” the neighbor would think to himself. 

On the other hand, if he already had the bumpersticker, why add the license plate? Is there supposed to be a progression to his relationship with Nickelback? Maybe he has both of them in order to clarify. Maybe he got the bumpersticker thinking it would show people how much he loves the band, only most people he showed thought it was a joke. Thought his love was a joke. So the one-two punch of sticker and plate is a very clear, bold declaration to all who see it: What your eyes are seeing is not an accident. I am someone who loves Nickelback. This is not funny to me. Actually, it’s really totally serious.

How have we let this happen, America?

Never Again.

Did you read the bumpersticker, incidentally? It says “Warning: Driver Under the Influence of Nickelback.” Perhaps this guy had gotten in a few car accidents because he was listening to Nickelback so much and the judge, knowing that our superfan would never seek medical help for his addiction, ordered him to declare the important fact so that other drivers might read it and take the necessary precautions. But here’s maybe the strangest thing of all. The sticker and the plate are on a newish looking, dark red Ford Focus. Not exactly the car of choice for the Bland-Rock crowd, although I guess the car is about as forgettable as the band’s music, so there could be another subtle layer of irony to it all. What if it’s his wife’s car and she hates Nickelback, but she asked him to go to the DMV to get the plates registered, and the car just came back like that? For that matter, did the homely woman at the DMV realize what he wanted on his license? Did she ask him about it? Did she try to stop him? When he wrote down his plate idea, was he embarrassed? He should have been. Or what if it wasn’t even his car, he just borrowed it from a friend, and he doesn’t even really like Nickelback that much, even though he did take said friend to their concert last time they were in town. “It was okay,” he thought at the time, but when his friend offered to let him burn their CDs, he politely declined.

If you haven’t noticed, I am really curious about this guy. How in the world do you get to that point? What is his thought process like? Because  I just don’t understand how you live your life everyday and come to the conclusion that what’s missing is a Nickeback license plate, and then feeling so strongly about that that you actually go to the trouble to get one. And then, on top of that, you feel that a mere license plate is insufficient for your love and you get a bumpersticker; a really dumb one too. I guess my real question is, how much time every day does this guy spend thinking about and listening to Nickelback? And what effect does that have on his intelligence, his interpersonal relationships, his future? Does he have Nickelback pajamas? Does he have any friends? What if Nickelback is the only band he ever listens to?

I saw a person recently with the licenseplate that said “JESAVS.” Really? They were so bent on making their car advertise for Christ that they didn’t care if they only got half his name? Did they think that would count as partial credit in Heaven? That God would think better of them if they slapped the first two letters of his name on their car that they don’t wash? Has the world gone insane? And why “JESAVS” ? Were all the good ones taken? “HESRSN,” “IAMSVD,” “GODSCR” (little did that churchgoer know he just started advertising for a Satanist Metal-band called “God Scar”). I guess bumperstickers are one thing, but when you insist that your license plate should make any kind of important statement about who you are, haven’t you sortof devalued both the idea and yourself? 

I’ll tell you a secret. When I was 17, I owned Nickelback’s first album, “Silver Side Up.” I’m not going to deny the appeal of the music for me at that time. They were like a new, edgier version of Creed, and if you are the type of person who finds yourself looking for a new, edgier version of Creed, then is there really any talking to you? This was also the time when I was listening to Everclear a whole lot. This was the time when I would contemplate which was my favorite movie, “I Know What You Did Last Summer” or “Scream 2” ? In 10th grade I had a green backpack, and I wrote the names of those movies on there as a statement, I thought, which declared that I was someone who knew about those movies; was someone who knew SO much about them, in fact, that I needed their names on my backpack. They belonged there If you wanted to talk about horror movies, I was your guy and all you had to do was ask. No one asked. I got made fun of. And rightfully so. Douchebag upperclassmen would grab my backpack and mock me and say the names in retarded voices and tell me I was stupid. And that’s fine, I deserved it probably; but what’s confusing is that the very type of guys who mocked me when I was 16 are the same ones getting custom Nickelback license plates when they’re 27.

“It is Not a World of Men, Machine”

Well isn’t this just one goddamn massacre of a day. When the swine flu arrives at my door later on tonight, I can’t say I’ll be surprised. That’s what I said and very much felt earlier today. A bit whiny I suppose, but boy what a day.

Today was like a nightmare in which I had written and directed THIS movie

Today was like a nightmare in which I had written and directed THIS movie

Since approximately 9pm last night, it seems a pile of annoyance and decay, like mildew-smelling laundry, announced itself at my door and refused to leave. I’m not going to get into it, but let’s just say Awfulness hit for the cycle in today’s game, with 5 RBIs and a stolen base. It touched all facets of my life – personal, professional, artistic, and even my family. Some are small, some are serious, but all seeming to have phoned each other to coordinate their emergence on just and only and of course today. It was a perfect and exacting storm. I was just barely getting a handle on one when another would creep up and throw me off, allowing the first to not merely regain ground, but worsen. At this point I think I’ve mixed about a hundred metaphors, so I ask you one simple thing. What’s to be done?

I can be bitter. I know, you’re shocked. I had plenty of moments today. I had an edge in my voice more and more, and I even brought it out in a conversation with my bosses at work, which, though it was more than warranted given the idiocy of the question I was asked, wasn’t “the best” idea. But the thing about days like this and the reason that they can go from bad to worse even outside of the compounding circumstances is that you are enticed to stop caring. You’re tempted to slump down, admit defeat, and be as miserable as you possibly can be. Surprisingly, this only makes you feel worse. I’d had about all I could take today, so I thought to myself. “Self,” says I, “we’ve got a situation here.” So you say a small prayer, you think, “Ok God. This is awful. What do I do?” And then I think you breathe. That’s step one. Step two’s not so easy to do, but is the most important. You’ve got to tell life and everything going on to go on and fuck off, and then you decide, you DECIDE and CHOOSE and LEAP and say, I’m done with this, I’m going to be happy now. 

And then everything is roses, yes? No. I had planned to write how I watched “The Office” and made fajitas. Instead, I made chicken fingers, and before the opening credits could signal the new and exciting adventures of Michael Scott and Co., the damn weatherman Gary Lezak – what a stupid lazy name (really? Insuting names? Low, Jason…low) – came on to discuss “fast-turning funnel clouds” that hadn’t even turned in to tornadoes and then explained what to do in the event of a tornado. Tornado – yet another metaphor for today.

But no, I didn’t pray and think it was going to be a magic lamp sortof thing. Not how God works, I don’t think. What God helps you do is refocus yourself on something outside of your circumstances (like, oh…Him?). So instead of sulking, I had the following night.

Went and played basketball for 45 minutes – a good strong shoot-around / Watched some NBA playoffs (Lebron hit a jumpshot from 40 ft away at the buzzer) / Had a cold, crisp shower / Listened to music – today’s mood called for a mixture of The Mountain Goats and the Soundtrack to a new favorite, “Dr. Horrible’s Sing-a-Long Blog” (“With My Freeze Ray / I will stop… the world”) / Chicken-Finger-Tortilla wraps with Beer… later, Rum and Dr. Pepper / Thought about a bunch of applicable movie quotations: 1. (See Title) 2. “Everything is cool, nothing is fucked, Dude.” 3. (Tagline, not quotation) “Things Fall Down… People Look Up… And When it Rains… It Pours” 4. I’m not even supposed to BE here today!” 5. “Bad day… fuck it.” / “SPACED,” the early 2000’s collaboration from Simon Pegg and Edgar Wright (guess what folks? Commentary tracks with Quentin Tarantino and many others. Did I watch it? YES!) / Writing.

At the end of the day, I’ve got it pretty good. I had a decent job, I have a movie that gives me more fulfillment than I ever thought it would (side note: Watching “Spaced” I desperately want to be involved with that kind of Friend Art Collaboration. In many ways, too, that’s exactly what “Trailer…” is. Even thogh today was rough, I wouldn’t trade that.) And the night’s not over. I can read or write more or watch “The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari.” Is this such a bad day? Maybe not. 

Watch it, Love it, Live it

It's all good

Mac Attack

No, I’m not craving two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun. I’m craving a gun. Let me spell it out: a “Mac Attack” is when you realize that while your iMac is, indeed, a great computer, it is also a monumental pain in the ass (and is attacking your ability to do cool things for free). That’s right, I said it. The Mac folks are smart, because they know the things a Mac can’t do tend to be on the less-than-legal but often easily accomplished side of things. No reason for them to put that in their commercials, and the PC companies can’t exactly say, “Buy our computer: you won’t believe all the free shit you can download with ease.” If they did, I bet their computers would sell more.  I know people, for instance, who make movies and were able to download all $1700 worth of Adobe Creative Suite 4 for no money down, no payment plan, and no elaborate system of bartering agreed upon either. Free. FREE. Fucking free. Stupid damn Mac.

Here is what’s frustrating. Instead of buying the $1700 programs for my iMac, I could save a ton of money, go buy a suped-up PC and then download all the programs. I’d get a new computer AND all the software for less than the cost of just buying it for my iMac. I take no comfort in knowing that I’ve not taken the programs. I take no solace in the idea that I am told my computer is better. It’s better at not letting me get cool shit, that’s for sure. I suppose if it’s harder to get things from my end, it should at least be harder for thieves to hack into my computer. But how the hell do I know? I betcha it could still happen with the right two passwords. And then I’d have bought a big shiny box.

I’m angry and annoyed, because on top of all that, I spent the entire night trying to LEGALLY transfer some footage from my editing program to a friend’s computer – a PC. No dice. No matter how I tried to “Share” the footage on my computer, it was having NONE of it. If there is a way, I’ve not found it, and because of this, I’ll have wasted a good 10 hours of editing and tweaking and frustration for nothing. Because if, no WHEN I have to re-import the footage onto my friend’s computer, there is no way in hell I’m going to sit down and re-edit the thing again. I had it edited. I just needed sound effects, which my POS editing system doesn’t have. 

Mac, I’m sure we’ll be friends again soon. But you stay away from me for a while, you hear? ‘Cause I will fuck you up bad, you jerk.


It Has Come to This

May 2009
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