In 1974, just as David Niven was about to introduce Elizabeth Taylor at the Academy Awards, a naked man streaked across the stage. Niven responded humorously (and Britishly). Not since then has there been a more visible prick onstage at an Awards show than Kanye West was at this year’s VMAs.
If you didn’t know, Taylor Swift won an award for best female video, beating Beyonce’s “Single Ladies” video (beloved my many, myself chief among them). During her acceptance speech, she was interrupted by Kanye West who then explained to the crowd that Beyonce made one of the best videos of all time. Roll tape:
Saying no more than that, Kanye is a really big asshole. But consider the details. Kanye wasn’t that particular award’s presenter. He got up out of his chair, walked onstage, took the mic out of the hands of the WINNER of the award, and then said something. It takes an even bigger asshole to do that. It takes an even bigger asshole still to take the mic away from the winner (after walking onstage during a speech for an award you did not present) and then tell the crowd that someone else deserved to win. It takes an even bigger asshole still to do so at the mother-fucking MTV Video Music Awards. On what planet, under the influence what kind of Government-grade, top secret hallucinogen must you be to believe so strongly in the everlasting importance of an MTV-designated award, not for the artistic or popular merit of any music, but of the video which dramatizes that music — and believe even more strongly that the winner of this year’s Best Female Video went to the wrong female (and, incidentally, which correct yet horribly unrecognized winner in this particular, specific category went on to win “Video of the Year” in what must have been an alarming and altogether mystifying turn of events) — that you take it upon yourself, Kanye, you piece of shit — who had no involvement with the (purported) should-be-winner’s video — to ruin the already fleeting, but nonetheless victorious moment of recognition from the actual winner –who, it turns out, did not appoint herself the winner, but was CHOSEN as the winner (by God knows who and not that it matters anyway)? In what state (of mind, of body, of soul) must you be in, to totally disregard all decency and basic human decorum, which a 1st grader can follow, in favor of your own pointless opinion about a ridiculous and
inconsequential award, that you absolutely must ignore the simple courtesy of letting someone say a (from what I saw) pleasant thank-you for an award they got through no fault of their own? Under no circumstances should this ever happen. But if happen it inevitably must, my humble feeling is that anyone sporting the hairdo (seen at the right) has always and forever waived the right to say word one on the matter.
There is talk of fining him. There is rumor of banning him from music-awards shows. This is well and this is good, but it misses the point. Kanye West, it would seem, needs a chaperone. Perhaps a schoolmarm who will rap his knuckles. Perhaps a parent who will spank his stupid ass when he acts up. This is the behavior of a child. This is the behavior of a pre-teen who thinks that his very existence insists that the world revolve around it and bend low to its every whim. He is a spoiled and stupid person; infantile in brain, inert in awareness of others around him. He cannot come out and play, because he does not know how to share. He cannot out-think the award-designators of MTV’s Video Music Awards (and what a sad fact this is). The way that it works young Kanye, and please take your finger out from your nostril and sit up straight, is that because Beyonce is getting the biggest award of the night, she needn’t win them all. It’s okay to let someone else be a winner, too, since the point may be less about winning and more about celebrating more than just one artist. (Hint: The names of the awards make this point for themselves). Your behavior is unacceptable. It is unthinkable and unconscionable. You have made a fool out of yourself. You are an ass, Kanye. Your behavior is reprehensible even to a Village Idiot. You are the Industry Idiot, and long will you reign. What a total fucking asshole you are. A fucking asshole, man.
(Beyonce, for her part, when accepting her award, made a brief speech and then had Taylor Swift come onstage to share in the moment. And let’s be real, when Beyonce has you out-classed, things are in sorry shape, indeed.)